Why the 500 is superior to the Derby

By James Burnes INtake assistant editor / operations

Which is better: The Indy 500 or the Kentucky Derby?

"Better," of course, is subjective, but an issue Kentucky residents and Hoosiers have argued for years.

Recently, I received in my inbox a challenge from Josh Hammann, Louisville native and writer for Velocity (Louisville's version of INtake), spouting off why he thinks the Derby dominates over our greatest spectacle in racing.

First of all, I'm impressed that they teach math down in Kentucky (see column at right).

Second of all, as for objectivity, please allow me to correct your reasoning as to why the Indianapolis 500 stands far and above the Derby as the better race.

5 REASONS

Length

All the costumes, fanfare and hoopla for "the most exciting two minutes in sports?" That's what we call premature jockey-elation. Ours is 500 miles -- let's just say size matters.

Attire

Those ridiculous hats you wear look like they came from the "Golden Girls" wardrobe closet. Here in Indy, we keep it simple. No shirt, no shoes, no problems.

Liquor

Real race fans drink their bourbon straight and chase it down with Budweiser. Mint Julep? What kind of pansy puts sugar and a sprig of mint in his whiskey?

Legends

Affirmed, Secretariat and War Emblem -- the Derby's greatest names lasted one season. We've got racing's greatest families: Foyt, Unser, Andretti and others. And unlike those horses' tight-knit breeding (and the fans who cheer them on), our drivers' family trees actually have branches.

Spectacle

We have the "Greatest Spectacle in Racing." Louisville has a little man spanking a horse's ass, which is, frankly, a spectacle in itself.

INtake reporter Darnell Morris-Compton contributed to this column.